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Blog, forgive, FORGIVENESS, happiness, Junrix Monter, love -

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. I once read a book on forgiveness which shared this powerful idea. It said that whenever we refuse to forgive someone, the person we are not forgiving is really ourselves. It makes sense doesn’t it? When you feel angry/bitter toward someone, it’s not the other person who is carrying the anger and bitterness. It’s you. For what it’s worth, the other person is probably not aware of how you are feeling toward him/her. You are the only person carrying the baggage around. On a deeper level, I believe you are angry/bitter at yourself for allowing yourself to be hurt by this person. This was what happened to me. Carrying all these heavyweight emotions can be very tiring. It’s like while dragging a whole pile of carcasses wherever you go. I’m sure you feel tired emotionally and mentally from the episode. You can’t get anywhere far if you keep dragging them along. To forgive him/her, first forgive yourself. Think about how you are denying yourself of so much happiness by holding on to your grievances. Think about how you are preventing yourself from experiencing your real love because you are still hanging on to these baggage. Whenever you hold on to something, you prevent yourself from receiving new things in life. Forgive yourself for putting yourself through this trauma. Forgive yourself for everything that has happened. As you forgive yourself, forgiveness of the other person will occur naturally.

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Blog, forgive, FORGIVENESS, Loving again, moving on -

I am a firm believer of the spirit of forgiving and remembering – forgiving who has hurt me and remembering what has caused me pain. To be able to forgive truly is to go through the process of moving on and getting over what is done and what can never be taken back. Moving on is not about forgetting and burying all the pain but learning and getting wiser through it to avoid the same pavement that once caused me suffering and tears. If we truly want to forgive those who hurt us, why can’t the memory linger with us? When we love too much we tend to give too much. Only then when we experience heartbreak do we become conscious that we have lost ourselves in the act of loving someone unreserved. I don’t want to forget just to forgive because the bittersweet memories molded me into what I am today. To immerse yourself in love is also exposing yourself to pain. I want to keep the memory of hurt and countless nights of tears so as to be reminded of how much I once loved and have been loved. I always want to remember what has once kept me at the epitome of my happiness and sadness. I want to forgive not with a forgetful heart but with a heart that has been hurt but has learned to accept the pain of yesterday. If we forget and forget the mistakes of the past, never will we learn. The past will drown us into an abyss of pain we keep on inflicting on ourselves. When we learn to forgive, remember and accept yesterday’s pain only then will we be able to love again. To love again is another chance on happiness; it may be starting anew with the same person who has hurt you in the past or a new person you’re willing to risk another heartbreak for. Either way, none of these relationships would work if we keep on forgetting where it all went wrong before, we feel the same pain and we find ourselves trapped in an equally painful cycle. If we keep all these mistakes, if we don’t let them get buried elsewhere, is when we get to feel better, stronger and wiser for the next path we choose to journey on. I want to remember all these to create something better with the same person who has hurt me in the past. I want to correct all the mistakes we have both done not because I want to save what we had but to take our chances on loving again and starting anew from a very different level. I want to remember because I want this to last. I don’t want to lose her for the second time. Forgiving, remembering and accepting the past have allowed me to trust her again. Even though what we have now doesn’t have the certainty of a lifetime, at least I can say that I have become wiser, I have loved and learned from a higher and more mature perspective.

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