8 Secrets Of Getting Over A Hurtful Breakup
When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner–much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past? These tips will help you with getting over a hurtful breakup in a hurry.
1. Accept the end
Avoid second-guessing yourself once you end the relationship. Even if you did not end it, don’t start wondering what you did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted. Accept that the relationship is over, and now, you have a fresh start to do it right next time.
2. Don’t push yourself to get over it
You’re not in the relationship anymore, but you don’t have to get over it right away. If you push yourself too hard to get over your ex, you might do more harm than good. Everything takes time to heal, and bad relationships are no different. Take time to go to bed early and sleep in late, or stay in on a Saturday night eating ice cream.
3. Let go of the negativity
Regardless of what happened to end your relationship, don’t hold a grudge. Everyone makes mistakes, and when emotions are high, people will get hurt. Don’t hate your ex forever and tell everyone that he or she is a bad person. Don’t let your ex have that kind of hold over you anymore. Let those negative feelings go and embrace the possibilities of future love and happiness instead.
4. Take time to find yourself again
It’s not uncommon to lose yourself in a relationship, where you can become a “we” instead of a “me.” A breakup means you have time to find yourself again. Spoil yourself: spend an hour in a bubble bath, watch a marathon of your favorite TV show, cook the favorite meal that your ex hated. This is the perfect time to analyze who you were before, who you were with your ex, and who you want to be in the future. You’re single and you’re healing from a breakup – it’s all about you!
5. Spend time with friends
Just like you lose touch with yourself in a relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with your friends. Being part of a couple means you spend a lot of time with each other, and you might spend less time with your friends as you enjoy your partner more and more. Being single again means you can have quality time with your friends. Don’t spend that time bad-mouthing your ex, or even talking about the relationship or the breakup. Spend time catching up and having fun together.
6. Rededicate yourself to your hobbies
Due to spending so much time with your ex, your hobbies may have fallen to the wayside. You may have exchanged reading a book in bed at night for pillow talk. Did you stop making jewelry to sit on the couch and watch your ex’s favorite movies? Use this time to rediscover your hobbies and become more in tune with the person you once were.
7. Be active
Nothing takes your mind off problems more than working out. (Even if it is because you spend every step of your run chanting, “I hate exercise, I hate exercise.”) Go for a run when you get home from work each afternoon. Join a gym and hit it up each morning before work. As an added bonus, if you join a gym, you’re going to get your body into shape, while increasing your chances of meeting someone new (when you’re ready)!
8. Recognize your self worth
This is the most important tip of all. Your relationship may have ended, but you’re not a failure because of that. Everyone has stories of failed relationships, and everyone gets past them. Just remember that you’re an amazing, interesting person. One relationship might not have worked out, but there are many other people out there just waiting to meet you. Get excited by the possibilities!
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