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Blog, LIFE, Life Problems, love -

Let’s start with the bitter truth: You will never be as good as you think you should be. And life will never be as easy as you expected. All of us are faced with the same reality. There will inevitably be times when we slip up and fail to meet our (unreasonable) expectations of ourselves. It’ll likely happen quite often too. And if we don’t embrace these slip-ups and failures as necessary lessons learned, we will gradually and unknowingly become self-conscious about everything we’re not doing and achieving according to plan. Honestly, it happens every day to the best of...

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Blog, Junrix Monter, Know Your Worth, LIFE, love, RELATIONSHIP -

We’ve all been there — feeling victimized by a friend, a boss or a lover who has treated us poorly or unfairly. It’s an easy and common tendency to blame the other, make yourself out as the innocent one, while seeking out particular people who will reaffirm that pain body within that encourages a “woe is me” mentality. But if you start to look back and analyze a bit, you may realize that the there is one common denominator in each scenario and situation. That common denominator is you. You allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency that others will transact with. I know many women who have settled for less, and simply “accepted” cards dealt because deep inside, they don’t believe they deserve more. I’m sure you know of someone who seems to have it all together in their life, but when it come to relationships, they just can’t seem to shake the habit of dating douche bags and douchettes. In my life, I’ve created my destiny within my career, friendships and community. With friends, I’ve really embraced the fact that friends are all unique pieces of a pie. Some will be lifetime friends that are next to family, some are social friends, some acquaintances. I’ve learned to appreciate the various types and unique forms of value each friend brings, and as well as a system of how much and what kind of energy I invest to whom. I am blessed with the best friends ever, but that inner circle is sacred and thoughtfully selective. However, in my relationships with people, I’ve witnessed myself apply a different system — if you can even call it a system. I’ve tolerated people who don’t appreciate me, who don’t value my heart, who take and take, who don’t call back, who have disrespected me — I’ve allowed people to not treat me what I’m worth. This is all a matter of self-esteem and my sense of self worth in the realm of being a person in a romantic relationship. I’ve made excuses, justified and eagerly re-entered the game of push and pull with people who clearly don’t really value me much at all. And you know what, it sucks and feels pretty crappy at the end — chipping away the low self-esteem that got me there in the first place even more. It took me 3 years of being hungry for love, even desperate for it at times, heart aches, heart tramples, picking up that phone when every cell in your body knows it’s the unhealthy thing to do, obsessing, infatuating, idealizing, you name it, for me to finally wake up and realize that my most important relationship is the one with myself. I’ve learned to embrace self love. And while I’ll always be a perpetual student in this journey, I’ve made the decision to apply my successful method in dealing with friendships and business to how I do my relationships. I’ve stopped apologizing for who I am and have learned that I am “perfect” the way I am, right now, right here. I will constantly be growing, evolving and working on bad habits, but those flaws, those imperfections are part of the beauty that makes me, me. I can now easily recognize people who are drawn to me only for the best of me, and as Marilyn Monroe best put it, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” If I could talk to my younger self — that man desperate for love and therefore often blinded by ideas, fabrications and untruths in order to try and capture it, I’d tell him: “JUNRIX , love will come to you, when you learn to love yourself, first and foremost”. I can’t go back in time to correct my mistakes, but I can today share what I’ve learned with younger people, some who may have a misconstrued idea that giving their all away carelessly can equal love. In the words of my wise friend “Be the gatekeeper.” Your heart is a precious gift. Your body is a temple. Be selective. Respect it and be respected. Love yourself and be loved. If you don’t respect and love yourself first, building a healthy relationship with another is like building a house with no foundation — eventually the cracks and lack of a strong base will eventually cause it to crumble. Know your value and don’t accept being treated in a way less than you deserve. Now, I don’t mean to start going out there with unrealistic expectations, demands and a sense of entitlement. I am saying that you deserve to be treated the way you treat others, and vice versa. The minute you negotiate your self worth and accept less, you say to the universe that you don’t deserve any better, and the vicious cycle/pattern begins. Change for yourself and of course, friends and partners are great mirror reflections that help you grow. But don’t change out of the wrong reasons to appease someone or in hopes that they will like you more. If they judge you for who you are now, they aren’t your fit. I’ll end off with a quote from “Sex and the City” that is an inspiring reminder: “But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

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Blog, Junrix Monter, LIFE, love, RELATIONSHIP -

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are and who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your neighbor, child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential strength, will power, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are, and even the bad experiences can be learned from, In fact, they are probably the poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart… If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count, Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again… Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high… Hold your head up because you have every right too. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself… for if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live in it! “Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last… Tomorrow is Not Promised”

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Blog, Breakups, Getting over, LIFE, love, moving on -

When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner–much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past? These tips will help you with getting over a hurtful breakup in a hurry

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Blog, Forever Single, Junrix Monter, love, LOVE ADVICE, Motivation, Reason why you're single, Single -

While there are many interesting angles to being married or being committed to someone you cannot negate the benefits of being single. While many people may just want to be a part of a conventional process of being with someone, you don’t have to be like everyone else. Guess what? You can still be incredibly happy while you are single. Go figure. Some people may not understand your position. They don’t understand why being single rocks. Here are 15 reminders of why you are still single. We don’t have the limitations of commitment. We are free to pursue our dreams or goals… and mingle. We do not let go of our identity easily. We would rather find freedom in who we are. We are not ready to settle for less Being single means you are not ready to compromise quality for demand. You simply want to be the person you want to be and get the best of what you deserve. According to a study, when you get married you suddenly are stuck to providing your partner all your attention. So much so that you may lose your association with other friends. When you are single, you bond better with your friends. We have less money worries Every relationship comes with an investment. I mean, you have to financially invest in a relationship. Understandably, you are not having a dual income, but consider all that money you spend on anniversary getaways, dinner dates, buying gifts, and more. Money is always pivotal to the success of any relationship and sometimes the cause of worries between couples. However, as a single person you don’t worry about that. We are more sociable People are attracted to single people and want to socialize with them more. We can invest in ourselves and careers We have the time and energy to focus on our careers rather than getting distracted by marital responsibilities. We sleep better According to research, when you sleep alone you get more sleep, which results in improved cognitive skills and memory. We are not accountable to anyone but ourselves Our finances and whereabouts do not have to be monitored by someone else. We are only accountable to ourselves. We are physically fit Getting married tends to push you to become less conscious about your physique. People who are single are physically fit and are more conscious about their physical appearance. We have no emotional dramas Every relationship comes with a level of compromise. To keep your relationship intact you have to ignore your wishes sometimes and fulfill your partner’s own. We have the time to think about what we want out of life You are not distorted or unclear when you are single. When you are single, you have enough time to think about those things you really want and make smart decisions out of them. You have a better sex life Being in a relationship doesn’t always assure you intimacy. According to statistics, single people actually have a better time in the bedroom – even when intimacy happens about half as frequently. You are less likely to drink when you are solo than when you are married. According to a study, married women consumed more drinks than long-term divorced or recently widowed women. We can play the field You don’t have any reason to feel guilty on a night out, or when you are trying to get yourself a new date. You can explore new and interesting relationships whenever you feel like it. We have more time to do us All that time talking and texting on the phone with a spouse can be used to accomplish other important pursuits instead, like investing that time on yourself.

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